Wednesday, October 17, 2007
My Living Problem
I went to an OA retreat this weekend and I left greatly disappointed. I left seething at the fact that people will actually make an effort to come to an event that is about self-recovery and then at the retreat make no commitments to recover. I'm sick of all the no-go gettas. I'm disgusted with people not realizing that this problem of compulsive overeating, then turns into compulsive dieting, then back to compulsive eating again. The aforementioned cycle is one of death. Turning my mind over to a complete new way of thinking was the only way out. As I see myself looking upon those in the death cycle, I get angry. I want to help them, but I cannot because they don't want to change. So, I have recommitted myself to reaching out to people looking for a real complete lifestyle change. I have to make sure I do this in a honest, loving and caring way (this is not logically equivilent to soft and gentle). The honest truth we when are lying to ourselves in usually painful. OA is a great thing that has lead to much joy and abundance in my life because I have been honest, fearless and thorough throughout. I work OA like my life depends on it because it does. Daily weigh-ins, counting calories, compulsive exercising, obsessing about my next meal, lying about my food to myself, having dishonesty run rampant in my life are just some of the things I had to give up in order to work my program in OA. Changing my life has been up to me, how my life changes is up to The Spirits that guide and watch over me daily. My most undeniable proof of this is my physical recovery.
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2 comments:
I don't get how counting calories and exercising can be bad things? If you are taking responsibility for your condition, doesn't it have to start with making some sort of effort? How is counting calories bad and keeping a food log good?
But then i've never understood the concept behind the various anonymous groups that the first step is to admit that we're helpless over [in this case food]. What is the reasoning for that? Wouldn't it be better and more honest to say that we are in control of what we do and what we decide, and to hold ourselves accountable for those actions?
I could see saying that I was powerless over food in the past, but now I've decided to take that power back, to put my decisions back in my hands where they belong.
If you could do a post on the reasoning behind the admission of powerlessness, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Have you read the book The Structure House Diet Plan? OA is one of the support groups it recommends and I think it follows a lot of the principles you believe in and was a stepping stone for me getting on track with my plan.
Yes, I count calories but one of the recommendations I took away from the Structure House Diet Plan book was to plan my meals in advance so I didn't spend time obsessing over food.
I had to change what I was putting into my body to improve my blood chemistry, for me there was so much more than just staying accountable, it was a full circle process, I need to make my body strong from the inside out and yes a big part of that starts in the brain. For me the quality of the food is very important. No trans fats, no white flour foods, no high fructose corn syrup. I chose lean meats, fruits, vegetables, whole grains and moderate healthy fat. It works for me, it made my cholesterol and other blood levels normal again.
While I think its great that you have found the answer for you and that you want to help people, just remember that your way isn't the only way.
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