The Life & Recovery of Paul Jackson: On a Tuesday, April Fool's Day, don't get caught slippin

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

On a Tuesday, April Fool's Day, don't get caught slippin

"On a Tuesday, April Fool's Day, don't get caught slippin..." -Outkast - Decatur Psalm

Wow. I'm glad to post. I'm trying to learn new ways to live, and let go of some of my old habits. It is turning out to be the most frustrating thing I've ever done. I feel my resistance and I'm working on letting it go. The next level of life is waiting for me, and I'm trying to find the staircase.

Today I went to the gym for the second consecutive day, that has not happened in over a month! I feel good. I feel ready for whatever is next.

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Clarity

I never understood football players in the big game praying. Praying for something specific to happen always seemed a bit unpure to me. I used to pray for the ability to wake up the next morning. However, I'd never put any effort into dismantling my fears of obesity, chest pains, and my impending death. I wound rather lay and pray to a God I wasn't all faithful in rather than get myself active in the spirit. Clarity is what I found in OA. The mental clarity I needed to change myself. For over twenty years I let food get in the way of what I needed to see, hear, feel, and live. The world no longer seems so daunting to me. I can now look forward to the struggles of life as learning experiences. Realizing now that facing my life won't kill me.