The Life & Recovery of Paul Jackson: Humility

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Humility

I have not been humbled by my compulsive overeating lately and cunning, baffling and power food has slipped right back into my life in a dangerous way. Today I accept who I am and what I do. Today I will work towards my goals and not live inside my fear.

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Clarity

I never understood football players in the big game praying. Praying for something specific to happen always seemed a bit unpure to me. I used to pray for the ability to wake up the next morning. However, I'd never put any effort into dismantling my fears of obesity, chest pains, and my impending death. I wound rather lay and pray to a God I wasn't all faithful in rather than get myself active in the spirit. Clarity is what I found in OA. The mental clarity I needed to change myself. For over twenty years I let food get in the way of what I needed to see, hear, feel, and live. The world no longer seems so daunting to me. I can now look forward to the struggles of life as learning experiences. Realizing now that facing my life won't kill me.