Good-bye Mr. King Size

When I came into OA I cut my food by 50%. That was easy because I made some rules that I was willing to live by. Now it is time for me to rewrite those rules again. For about 4 months now my mind has been fighting with my stomach about food. I will be in the act of eating something and my body will tell my I have had enough. However, my mind keeps telling me to keep eating. I don't want to do that anymore. Today I'm giving up eating more food than I need.

My entire life I have lived for big meals. I'm not talking about just during the holiday season or a birthday celebration or something like that. I'm talking about everyday breakfast, lunch and dinner. I wanted big meals all the time. I was at a buffet if and only I was experiencing life to the fullest. That's sounds like a weird statement I know, but the only time I truly remember uncontrollable bliss is when I was in the presence of more food than I could handle. Even though I have stopped eating to that level of excess, I have still been holding on to that bliss from compulsive eating.

For today, I realize that I need to release more of my food. I have been losing weight at a pace of about 8 lbs a month since a joined 24 Hour Fitness in May. I know that I must be willing to do this for continuation of my recovery to keep happening. I want to eat like a normal person, that doesn't mean I will think like a normal person does about food. I'm ok with that. I have tools today to help deal with my disease of compulsive eating. Knowing that, I must now say my good-byes to eating more food than I need to live.

I have a responsibility to love and care for myself, excess food takes away from that.

Love is not large quantities of food.

Being overweight hides who I really am.

I don't want to be fat anymore.

Less food equals a smaller me, and a smaller me can live for a long time.

I want to be alive when my kids have kids.

Excess food equals death for me.

Eating right keeps my spirit alert, aware and ready for action.

I deserve the next level of life, to get there I'm letting go of this excess food.

Normal exists for a reason, I want to experience it.

Good-bye Mr. King-Size, you are dismissed.