The Life & Recovery of Paul Jackson: The Next Episode ~ramble~

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Next Episode ~ramble~

Three meals a day and nothing in between has really been working for me. I came home from the gym after class last night starving. Poor me, I didn't think I'd live to see the morning. My wife thinks I should smaller meals more often during the day. However, I disagree because 3 times in the cage a day is plenty. Going to the gym yesterday was really great. I felt really healthy all day today because of it. I walked the kids up to the pool today. They loved it. I did too. Mommy stayed at home and got some alone time. My CCNA classes our going great. I love them. I'm even reading the curriculum when I'm not at school....AMAZING! I'm grateful today that I have found something that I really love. I think I have found a way to begin my stepwork. I have a lot to be grateful today. Thanks World!!!

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Clarity

I never understood football players in the big game praying. Praying for something specific to happen always seemed a bit unpure to me. I used to pray for the ability to wake up the next morning. However, I'd never put any effort into dismantling my fears of obesity, chest pains, and my impending death. I wound rather lay and pray to a God I wasn't all faithful in rather than get myself active in the spirit. Clarity is what I found in OA. The mental clarity I needed to change myself. For over twenty years I let food get in the way of what I needed to see, hear, feel, and live. The world no longer seems so daunting to me. I can now look forward to the struggles of life as learning experiences. Realizing now that facing my life won't kill me.