The Life & Recovery of Paul Jackson: Daily Report

Monday, April 13, 2009

Daily Report

b-some m&m's and a slices of pizza at work
l- 2 slices and a giantstick
d-10 pieces of fried chicken, 1 biscuit, large dirty rice
at dinner - I gorged myself on easter candy
red light day
e- 3 mile+ walk

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Clarity

I never understood football players in the big game praying. Praying for something specific to happen always seemed a bit unpure to me. I used to pray for the ability to wake up the next morning. However, I'd never put any effort into dismantling my fears of obesity, chest pains, and my impending death. I wound rather lay and pray to a God I wasn't all faithful in rather than get myself active in the spirit. Clarity is what I found in OA. The mental clarity I needed to change myself. For over twenty years I let food get in the way of what I needed to see, hear, feel, and live. The world no longer seems so daunting to me. I can now look forward to the struggles of life as learning experiences. Realizing now that facing my life won't kill me.