My Ego

I recently went out to eat with another member of OA a couple days ago. We were talking about recovery and my recent struggles, and she asked me if I was "in relapse" and I said "no." I justified my response to her by making it explicitly clear that if I was in relapse I could and would be eating everything in sight all the time. However, during my walk this morning, the Spirits told me that if you don't call 23 pounds in two months, eating all the sugar you can handle, and removing yourself from your program of recovery relapse, then what is relapse? So, to my friend that shared that mediocre meal at LaMesa avec moi, I was definetly in relapse. My ego gets in my way all the time. I want to stay humble and be grateful for the blessings that are within my path. Not admitting that I was in relapse was a way for me to reject the feelings of shame and failure I had for not working my program.