Friday, March 1, 2013

I have usually wanted to be profound.  Today I just want to be.  When I started this blog, I wanted to be a superstar.  Leading the charge of profound recovery from morbid obesity.  However, what I have found is that I'm a much more normal than that.  Before these last five months I've always believed that somehow I'm more valuable than you because I'm truly a gift to this world.  I've since learned otherwise.  I want to contribute today the most effective way that I can.  Gratitude lists and asking for good orderly direction is how I function today.  I do not do it perfectly, nor do I try.  Letting down people is something that I have really had to face and accept.  In the past, it has been impossible for me to take 100% responsibility for my actions with 0 zero excuses.  Skirting why I didn't perform has always been tops on my explanation list.  For today, I have acceptance of myself and my fellows.  Life is for living and today I want to perform because I have the ability to.  Assigning blame to myself and others doesn't help me recover, enjoy life, fulfill potential, and enhance situations positively.  So today, I am whatever I am.  I accept that first.  Next, I act.  My momma always told me, "Faith without action is dead." Today, I carry that statement with me in all my affairs.  I'm committing to returning to this blog frequently to document my fears, my accomplishments, and my recovery.  I hope that I can be of service to any who understands or doesn't understand my story.

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