I'm a big kid now!

At 5:27am today I turned 30 years old. I started my day with a trip to the Old Market Farmer's Market with My Breezy Yo! Next I went to the gym sans ma famille and chopped it up with an old friend on the treadmill. When I returned home I took my niece to a doctor's appointment, chopped it up with my mom, and then returned home with two borrowed weedwackers and a borrowed mower. After a general purpose lunch with the family, I proceeded to crushing the yard of death (an assist goes out to Cornbread). Next, the whole fam watched Michael Jackson (RIP) videos as Jan Jan attempted to entertain the children. She ended up entertaining us all. Now off to the shower, My Breezy Yo! and I ventured out to the Pizza Shoppe for my birthday outing. It was the best experience ever at the PS. By the time we returned home, the children had already been shuttled off to their rooms for the night. About an hour later, Emenike called for Katie and I told her to just let him come down. My little boy layed right next to me for about an hour just making me feel special. Shortly thereafter, I received a couple unexpected phone calls. Achinike's voice is always an interesting sound. Later on Katie, Deekie and I all headed for bed where I am now writing this entry. I had a day filled with love. I can't ask for more than that.

Tricky Weekend

My wife and I had an argumentative weekend. However, today I made dinner and after the kids went to bed we just had a really good time hanging out. It was great. I love having her as my companion in life. I am very grateful to be back on track with her today.

Patience

I was able to have a weekend with My Breezy Yo! which was really great. However, when my children returned I realized that I have no patience for them. I have been really crabby towards them and not very nurturing lately. Tomorrow, I want to give them a really good morning to start their day and my day. I will have their clothes ready when they get up. And I will give them extra time at breakfast to goof off. They will love that. I think I will too.

My Breezy YO!

I feel really stupid even blogging this, so that must mean that I need to do it. I used to think the relationship that my wife and I had before we had children was gone, but it's not. It just is not allowed to be exposed when we are at home because one or both of us are always on parent duty. I really enjoy have kid-free time with Katie. Last night, I arranged dinner for the children and Katie and I went out. It was great. We just went to California Taco's & More, then to Hy-Vee, but some simple one on one time with My Breezy Yo really does both of us good.

Carbon Free Transportation

Today my wife and I walked to the supermarket because we were almost out of PB&J. Having 3 children and one on the way, it is very important to stay stocked up on the quickest and most widely accepted lunch in the house. Walking allowed Katie and I some fun time together, I really enjoyed that. I want to continue to have more walks like these. Plus, it's good for the environment and a good way for me to rebound from a tough day yesterday.

Since...

I've been gone I have:
purchased a house,
not stopped going to school,
a daughter in kindergarten,
purchased a car,
struggled tremendously with sugar,
a wife who is finally driving,
a wife who is back at work,
Lott Juniorita staying with us,
trashed all the sippy cups,
two little who can open doors now.

I will probably add to this later.

Crazy

I told my wife yesterday, "my food has been crazy." Her response, "When was the last time you posted your food?" She stopped me dead in my tracks. No matter how much I hate to admit it, I am a compulsive overeater. Today, in order for me to recover, I need to be posting my food. I don't like to do it because I find it a bother, but making myself review my intake at the end of each is good for me. Writing it out doesn't let me rationalize what I did. I'm honest with my posting and if I don't like what I'm seeing then I need to change how I act. I'm so tired of repeating this process and I'm starting to get angry at myself for not sticking with this posting. I must let go of the angry and focus on the solution, today I will try to do that

Let's Make a Deal!

So I have not been posting my food on a regular basis, and I intended for that to continue to be the case. The reason for that is my food has not been a problem for me. I'm not saying that I am no longer a compulsive eater. I'm just saying that I have been taking the proper steps to make sure my compulsion is not kicking my ass everyday. However, it seems that my mommy really enjoys reading my daily reports. Well I've been trying to get my mom to just think about journaling her food; she refuses. So I made a deal with her, I continue to blog my food if she journals hers and reports it to me. It is about accountability with other people that gets us better. None of us can do it alone. Letting pride, fear, embearassment, or anything else get in the way of our recovery means we are not being true to ourselves. I want to reveal my true self; not only to me, but to the world. I want my family to happy, healthy, and progressive. I have to become the change I want to see. I will continue to do that with the guidance of the people I trust with my life everyday.

A Year of Growing

Today has been a day of reflection for me. I can truly look back over the past year and see tremendous growth in every aspect of my life. Somehow the birth of Emenike bonded our family in a unimaginable way. As the only biological child of my wife and I, he seems to belong not only to us, but to his two adopted sisters. Emenike is the spiritual glue of my family. His presence has created a peace inside me that allows me to "take things easy," which is the definition of his name.

Taking things easy has allowed me to continue to move forward in my own spiritual, mental, and physical recovery from compulsive overeating. Starting to learn about letting go of things out of my control has made me more useful to all other people that I encounter. The Spirits guide in all aspects of my life when I make myself available to their knowledge. Today I'm thinking with my recovery voice, and that feels amazing.

Amazing also best describes the growth that is happened in my marriage over the past 12 months. Everyday Katie's and my relationship grows more nourishing. Through the function and the dysfunction this woman and I are committed to make one another and ourselves better people. The Spirits have placed me in an environment of love and recovery; I continue to be thankful and careful with this gift.

My Monkeys keep my on my toes. They provide me lessons on life, love, responsibility and trust daily. Genevieve, Tanea, & Emenike have changed me forever. They have taught me how to "soak up the sun." I am humbled to be their father.

Life is good, if you live it,
-Chinwendu