OH SNAP!

Please, be kind - don't drop the rock on me!

I've ready to challenge myself tomorrow and set myself up for success.

Today's Word

I trust in God like the sun in the sweltering summer Nebraska heat.  Life is that sweltering relentless unmanageable heat.  My HP is the air conditioning, a cold glass of water, or a breezy spot under a shaded tree whenever I need it.  This reminds me of what I prefer - which is to walk with God.  Today I understand that my HP doesn't  have to measure up to that of others.  My HP can be called God, The Spirits, Allah, Malcolm, Jesus, or Immanuel.  They all speak to me through the through my individualized interaction in the world.  It is easy to find HP in a quiet morning meditation, but sometimes more greatly appreciated in the confines of a crazy day.  Just for today, I will trust god to open the doors to my success.  I do not and will not back door my way into situations.  A desire to grow and willingness to do work today seems more important than winning cheaply and getting something for less work than most.  I have no greater value than anyone else in the world today.  My perception often leads me to think otherwise like "ya'll stuck without me."  Today I ask, Will you show me how can I benefit my family and my fellows in a useful way?

I have usually wanted to be profound.  Today I just want to be.  When I started this blog, I wanted to be a superstar.  Leading the charge of profound recovery from morbid obesity.  However, what I have found is that I'm a much more normal than that.  Before these last five months I've always believed that somehow I'm more valuable than you because I'm truly a gift to this world.  I've since learned otherwise.  I want to contribute today the most effective way that I can.  Gratitude lists and asking for good orderly direction is how I function today.  I do not do it perfectly, nor do I try.  Letting down people is something that I have really had to face and accept.  In the past, it has been impossible for me to take 100% responsibility for my actions with 0 zero excuses.  Skirting why I didn't perform has always been tops on my explanation list.  For today, I have acceptance of myself and my fellows.  Life is for living and today I want to perform because I have the ability to.  Assigning blame to myself and others doesn't help me recover, enjoy life, fulfill potential, and enhance situations positively.  So today, I am whatever I am.  I accept that first.  Next, I act.  My momma always told me, "Faith without action is dead." Today, I carry that statement with me in all my affairs.  I'm committing to returning to this blog frequently to document my fears, my accomplishments, and my recovery.  I hope that I can be of service to any who understands or doesn't understand my story.

Daily Report for Sat

b-2 biscuit sandwiches and hashbrowns from bk
l-2 cheesy beef burritos, 2 bean burritos and an order of rice
d-2 black bean and cheese quesadillas
yellow light day
e-none

Daily Report for Yesterday

brunch-2 plates of food at Mother's Day Breakfast
in the afternoon - a smoothie
dinner-a baby spinach salad, 2 bowls of mushroom alfredo pasta
green light day
e-none

Quality Day

Today was a green light day. My higher power intervened when I felt helpless. My consciousness was high, and I was acting instead of reacting all day.

Daily Report for Yesterday

b-1 donut and 1 muffing
l-taco, enchilada, chips and guac from GI Forum
in the afternoon - 1 muffin
d-a serving of mushroom alfredo pasta and 2 chicken thighs
after my walk-a sandwich
yellow light day
e-40 min walk with My Breezy YO!

Daily Report

b-yogurt and ks m&m's
l-2 slices of pizza
later on - more m&m's
d-2 bowls of hashbrown casserole
yellow light day
e-none

Daily Report

b-some m&m's and a slices of pizza at work
l- 2 slices and a giantstick
d-10 pieces of fried chicken, 1 biscuit, large dirty rice
at dinner - I gorged myself on easter candy
red light day
e- 3 mile+ walk

Daily Report

b-3 bean tacos
l-footlong from subway and 3 cookies
d-2 vegi mcribs and some fritos
green light day
e-45 min of cardio, 30 min of res trning

Daily Report

b-granola bar and yogurt
after gym- half a granola bar
lunch-4 slices of pizza
d-2 bowls of chicken pesto pasta
at school - 10 starbursts, 4 reese pb cups
after school - bowl of chicken pesto pasta
red light day
e-40 min of cardio, 30 min of resistance training

Daily Report

b- 2 pb&j's
after gym-granola bar
l-4 chili dogs
later on - half a nutty bar
d-2 french dips
after school-lasagna from work and black beans
yellow light day
e-40 min of cardio, 20 min of res trng

Daily Report

6am-lunch lasagna
10am-2 yogurts
2pm-2 ham and cheese sandwiches
6pm-3 servings of mexican lasagna
yellow light day
e-60 min walk w/ k8

Daily Report

B-1 and 1/2 plates of pancakes, 3 eggs, and 7 strips of bacon
L-granola bar
d-2 grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with raw veggies
dessert-bowl of ice cream
yellow light day
e-45 minutes walk with the family

Daily Report

b-1 pb&j
l-one slice of pizza, 2 cheesestix, and a lunch lasagna from work
later on-1 pb&j
d-1 cali taco, 2/3 a plate of nachos
yellow light day
e-none

Daily Report

b-2 pb&j's
l-2 chicken thighs and rice
in the afternoon - a drumstick
d-1 eggroll, 1 crab rangoon, and 1/2 an order of SFR
green light day
e-none

Reports

tues - feb 24
b- quesdilla
l-2 boca burgers and rice
afternoon snack - a yogurt
d-mini pizza and 5 breadsticks
yellow light day
e- 65 min walk

wed - feb 25
b- quesadilla
l-3 burrito plate
d-3 plates at old country buffet
red light day
e-60 min walk

thurs - feb 26
b - 2 quesadillas
l-2 dbl cheeseburgers and fries from mickey d's
d-3 slices of pizza and 3 breadsticks
yellow light day
e-none

fri - feb 27
b-2 slices of pizza and 2 breadsticks
l-2 slices of pizza
in the afternoon - a big taste taco
d- 2 plates at hong hing
yellow light day
e-none

Daily Report

b-black bean quesadilla
l-7 tacos from Taco John and some potato oles
d-2 and 1/2 pb&js
later on - yogurt and a granola bar
yellow light day

Daily Report

b-an apple
l-3 baby french dips and doritos
snack-2 slices and a breadstick
d-3 tacos, 2 toastadas, and a plate of nachos
dessert-waffle cone
yellow light day
e-40 min of cardio and weights

Daily Report for Yesterday & Today

yesterday
b-bowl of cereal
l-1 and 1/2 bowls of chili
d-3/4 of a small pizza and 2 breadstix
green light day
e-4 mile on ELL, and weights

today
b-double cheeseburger
l-salmon and rice, 2 choc chip muffins, and a choc milk
d-3 plates at Valentino's buffet
red light day
e-none

I need some exercise to turn today into a yellow light day and I ignored that feeling inside myself.