Router Maintenance

I want to work with routers. I love networking. I want a career that I love. Spirits when you are ready I am willing. Until then, I will do what is in front of me for today.

My Living Problem

I went to an OA retreat this weekend and I left greatly disappointed. I left seething at the fact that people will actually make an effort to come to an event that is about self-recovery and then at the retreat make no commitments to recover. I'm sick of all the no-go gettas. I'm disgusted with people not realizing that this problem of compulsive overeating, then turns into compulsive dieting, then back to compulsive eating again. The aforementioned cycle is one of death. Turning my mind over to a complete new way of thinking was the only way out. As I see myself looking upon those in the death cycle, I get angry. I want to help them, but I cannot because they don't want to change. So, I have recommitted myself to reaching out to people looking for a real complete lifestyle change. I have to make sure I do this in a honest, loving and caring way (this is not logically equivilent to soft and gentle). The honest truth we when are lying to ourselves in usually painful. OA is a great thing that has lead to much joy and abundance in my life because I have been honest, fearless and thorough throughout. I work OA like my life depends on it because it does. Daily weigh-ins, counting calories, compulsive exercising, obsessing about my next meal, lying about my food to myself, having dishonesty run rampant in my life are just some of the things I had to give up in order to work my program in OA. Changing my life has been up to me, how my life changes is up to The Spirits that guide and watch over me daily. My most undeniable proof of this is my physical recovery.

A Year of Growing

Today has been a day of reflection for me. I can truly look back over the past year and see tremendous growth in every aspect of my life. Somehow the birth of Emenike bonded our family in a unimaginable way. As the only biological child of my wife and I, he seems to belong not only to us, but to his two adopted sisters. Emenike is the spiritual glue of my family. His presence has created a peace inside me that allows me to "take things easy," which is the definition of his name.

Taking things easy has allowed me to continue to move forward in my own spiritual, mental, and physical recovery from compulsive overeating. Starting to learn about letting go of things out of my control has made me more useful to all other people that I encounter. The Spirits guide in all aspects of my life when I make myself available to their knowledge. Today I'm thinking with my recovery voice, and that feels amazing.

Amazing also best describes the growth that is happened in my marriage over the past 12 months. Everyday Katie's and my relationship grows more nourishing. Through the function and the dysfunction this woman and I are committed to make one another and ourselves better people. The Spirits have placed me in an environment of love and recovery; I continue to be thankful and careful with this gift.

My Monkeys keep my on my toes. They provide me lessons on life, love, responsibility and trust daily. Genevieve, Tanea, & Emenike have changed me forever. They have taught me how to "soak up the sun." I am humbled to be their father.

Life is good, if you live it,
-Chinwendu