The Life & Recovery of Paul Jackson: November 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A wacky day...

I worked today, which is usually for me on a Tuesday. My intention was to go in and help on a busy day. I believe I accomplished that task, so for that I will be grateful. I want more work that generates money. I would love for it to not come from delivering pizzas. I intend to stay alerts for opportunities in which I can make money in entrepreneurial ways. I hope to find a new way to live by doing so.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Setting Intentions

I definitely need to start "setting intentions" for myself everyday. I believe that it helps me stay conscience. My recovery is not static, so I must reevaluate myself everyday. Being able to set goals that are reachable for myself is important to my recovery. I'm heavy in the struggle of letting things go in my life that will allow me to lose my next 100 pounds. Everything I have do recently has been "questionable." I need to start paying more attention. To help me do this, I will set the intention to blog at least every other day for the next week.

Clarity

I never understood football players in the big game praying. Praying for something specific to happen always seemed a bit unpure to me. I used to pray for the ability to wake up the next morning. However, I'd never put any effort into dismantling my fears of obesity, chest pains, and my impending death. I wound rather lay and pray to a God I wasn't all faithful in rather than get myself active in the spirit. Clarity is what I found in OA. The mental clarity I needed to change myself. For over twenty years I let food get in the way of what I needed to see, hear, feel, and live. The world no longer seems so daunting to me. I can now look forward to the struggles of life as learning experiences. Realizing now that facing my life won't kill me.