The Life & Recovery of Paul Jackson: Daily Reports

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Daily Reports

MON
b-bowl of cereal
l-2 servings of mexican lasagna, chips and a marshmallow bar
d-5 slices of pizza & 1 breadstick
green light day
e-none

TUES
b-3 donuts & milk
l-half a sandwich & soup from panera
d-two bowls or chicken and rice, a marshmallow bars and a side of rice
yellow light day
e-none

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Clarity

I never understood football players in the big game praying. Praying for something specific to happen always seemed a bit unpure to me. I used to pray for the ability to wake up the next morning. However, I'd never put any effort into dismantling my fears of obesity, chest pains, and my impending death. I wound rather lay and pray to a God I wasn't all faithful in rather than get myself active in the spirit. Clarity is what I found in OA. The mental clarity I needed to change myself. For over twenty years I let food get in the way of what I needed to see, hear, feel, and live. The world no longer seems so daunting to me. I can now look forward to the struggles of life as learning experiences. Realizing now that facing my life won't kill me.